my love of dancing...

So what is it with dancing that i love so much?? I can't tell. I can't explain. It's fun but I know it's more than that.

Well here's my little story....

I was born flat footed. My parents were worried about that because it wasn't really a good thing. So the doctor suggested that they enroll me in a ballet class for me to develop the arcs of my feet, and tada! haha. Lucky enough, there was a ballet school very near to our house.

So I was five years old at that time. I really can't remember those first few years of my ballet dancing. I was five. Haha. Through the years, I really forgot the purpose of my ballet dancing. I just liked dancing so much that I fell in love with it.

magtatagalog na ako. haha.

So, for the first few years, summer lang ako nag-eenroll tapos hindi rin ako sumasali dun sa sa annual summer recitals nila. ang mahal kasi. very expensive talaga. imagine you pay a recital fee na sobrang mahal regardless of how many performances you will have on the recital. at that time, i enrolled in ballet only so mejo expensive talaga kung magrerecital kasi at most, 2 numbers lang ang mapeperform ko.

as i grew older, nagiging aware na ako sa love ko sa pagsasayaw. why love? kasi i always knew that i wan't the best dancer present in that school, or even in a ballet class. plus.. my body, my weight and my feet. i was chubby(para cute pakinggan), i was heavy and my feet/legs were turned in(ballet requires feet turned out) and they were flat(pointing my feet was very hard for me) but i still look forward to always attend my ballet class.

i think i was 9 or whatever, i can't remember my exact age when i started enrolling even during the school year. during the school year., ballet classes are scheduled every saturday. that was the time na nag enroll na din ako sa ibang dance classes, namely modern jazz and hawaiian. it became more expensive. so my mom and i had a deal, i'll stop my dancing when i reach highscool. i said yes, i didn't know that it was going to be hard for me.

and so, of course dumating yung panahong maghhayskul na ko, but i didn't stop dancing. i never remembered convincing my mom na magcontinue ako sa dancing ako. i think it just happened.

during highschool, i was already one of the seniors in the ballet school. it was fun. i still wasn't the best dancer among us. hindi ako yung tipong binibigyan ng solo parts or palaging napupuri during class. ako yung tipong, tinutulungan para makahabol. yung tipong pagdating sa turns, perfect na nila ang triple pirrouette pero sinsimulan ko palang aralin ang double pirrouette. ako pa nga yung biggest samin eh. i was always conscious with my figure when i dance. but i just enjoyed.

then, came the time na kelangan na talaga mag stop. hindi rin hiningi ni mama sakin na magstop na, i just knew i had to. it was sacrifice. more on this later... my last summer recital was may 2008. just before my last year in highschool. it is hard and sad but i really had to let it go.

so that was the story, but there is more to that.



as i danced my way through the years, i already forgot why i was dancing ballet but dancing was a real blessing to me.. being an only child, it was the first way for me to step out of my shell and say  hello to the world.

before dancing, hindi ako maingay. promise! haha. ako yung batang hindi talaga magsasalita at uupo na lang sa isang tabi sa isang event dahil nahihiya ako. ako yun. ako yung tipong kahit mawawala na ako, iiyak na lang ako pero hindi talaga ako magtatanong o kakausap ng kahit na sinong tao. dancing was the first step for me to socialize. aside from school, tinuro sakin ng pagsasayaw kung pano makikisama sa iba't ibang uri ng mga tao. dancing was a wonderful way to learn that.

also, dancing taught me how to be independent. here's how.. sa recitals namin, ang mga babies and little girls, pwede pa magsama ng mga parents or yayas sa backstage to fix their things, hair, costumes, do their make-up, help them change clothes and stuff like that pero pag mejo ate ka na, mga 10 siguro, hindi na pwede. natuto ako mag - ayos ng gamit, ayusin ang sarili kong buhok, put on make-up, do very quick changes, yung tipong after ng dance mo, 3 mins performance lang, tapos may sayaw ka na ulit. ganon. it helped me be the independent person i am now.


another wonderful thing is that dancing taught me to appreciate my blessings. how? i am an only child, i learned that if i wasn't, i wouldn't have experienced what i am talking about now, dancing. it came to my senses back then na it was something special, a gift that may parents granted me for a long time. kung baga, ito na yung pinaka luho ko sa buhay.

in connection to that, dancing taught me to work for what i wanted.. two ways.. first: kahit na only child ako, i wasn't a spoiled one. so noon, if i wanted to join the recital or enroll in an additional dance class, i had to work for it. for example, i had to get a medal or maintain my ranking in school or get promoted in my ballet class. second: persevering for my own improvement. si mama kasi, stage mother. supportive pagdating sa mga ganitong bagay. always proud when im on stage. so she always pushed me to improve my dancing skills so i would look better on stage.

dancing also gave me a wonderful privilege: to perform on stage. and not just a stage. stage lang naman ng Cultural Center of the Philippines. both the little theater, and the big theater (nicanor abelardo theater). when im on stage, it was love, it was a dream, it was a fulfillment, it was heaven for a dancer like me.


siyempre here goes the hard part.

dancing taught me sacrifice and discipline. technically, it taught me to sacrifice my time. lots of time. time with my family and time to rest. hindi lang yun. noon, strict ako sa food ko. sacrifice those delicious fatty foods. hahaha. well more of discipline on that. discipline was very important.


well dancing made me do a very big sacrifice. when i felt that it was almost time to stop, i couldn't even think of it. it was a personal decision,  not something na pinilit akong gawin.

during highschool, YFC was a big part of my life and i had to balance my extra time between YFC and dancing. i had to choose. it was hard. why? for some time, dancing was my passion, as a little girl i told my mom that when i grow up, i would be "The Dancing Doctor"..(even as a child, i had crazy dreams).

i really don't know what made me do it but it just happened. my heart was really called to YFC. i cried over it. that was how i loved dancing. and now, i look at my friends pictures, and i miss the fun and all the things that i experiece and learn with dancing. i just cried over it all over again.

sabi nga nila, i could still dance, yes of course. but it's different now though. i want to go back to my beloved ballet school and be with them and do it all over again but i know God was with me when i made my decision, so i know it is His plan.




its too long. i have to end this.
i love dancing and will always do.
the memories will forever be with me. :)